Nothing is ever how they are, but things could turn out for the better
Thursday, Nov. 14, 2002 @ 23:25
Before, I wrote an entry about my boyfriend and we walked around talking. Yeah, a chance to finally chat with him for only an hour though, before survivor. Anyhow. And no, I didn�t break off our relationship. Instead, he did most of the talking. We didn�t even talk about our relationship. Okay, so maybe we did :
Apparently people have been bugging him about another guy who, well, also likes me. And once I break up with my boyfriend, he (Ben) will immediately break up with his girlfriend and do everything he could to be my boyfriend. But, in a way, he is a pretty cool guy.
My boyfriend is very aware that I�m moving to Brantford Blantford Bwantford (whatever the city is called) or Woodstock, and he still does want our relationship to last. Can�t blame him eh? But I really like the fact I can talk, joke, laugh freely with my boyfriend at any time. Almost everyone likes him. I was quite mean in that entry though. I was right, I will miss him. He�s so nice, kind, genorous, and wonderful, but like I said before, were both very busy.
At least I got to spend some time with him, way more than usual, which is never an hour. That was really nice. But uh, we couldn�t even get to watch a movie together, whoa. Besides, we both really like the outdoors, yes, even winter. He�s actually quite athletic. Anyway, there�s so much we have in common I never realized.
I did missed the first little bit of Survivor blah. The route he usually walks was blocked by three guys about our ages that looked like they were getting high muahh, so we had a detour and got in to a long long conversation about drugs and alcohol. At least I am able to comfortably talk with him although we weren�t together that long. I also complained to him about my fitness testing results. My body fat, weight, and height. He said I was �scronny like his second youngest brother, Tony.� And � I look ...� well, fine, good whatever. Why? My body fat is 15% and my weight is 109. Everyone says that 15% body fat is very low for me, for any girl around my age. Blah. Isn�t that interesting, I lost two percent body fat and gained two pounds, but then again, I grew a little more than an inch. Very strange. My stomach muscles and arm muscles hurt from the sit-ups and push-ups exercises we had to do.
The more I think of our walk together, the harder it would be for me to break off our relationship. Someone put a curse on me. But, no one should be blamed at all for how wonderful of a person he is. Maybe I hate the thought of having a boyfriend and how careful I have to be around other people, but I shouldn�t feel that way, I feel so free in this relationship, I�m still able to do whatever I feel like.
So he doesn�t really care. He doesn�t care what I do, nore does he care who I spend time with. Or maybe he does. Because of this trust? Or because were both very busy? Or because we don�t see each other very often? Or because he thinks I�m smart enough to not do something like that?
You see, I don�t really know how our relationship will end up being like, or what will happen... I�m not used to being this free like in a relationship. So different but good in a way. How confusing I know. You would think that it�s easy getting out of this kind of relationship. Well, it�s not. There�s so many couples breaking up at our school this time of year. The guys breaking up with their girlfriends before Christmas holidays, then after New years get back together with them. That�s so typical. But I don�t want my boyfriend to give me anything this year.
My boyfriend is just a very easy going guy and nothing ever seems to bug him. Very strong, calm person. I�ve only seen him angry once because his girlfriend before me had cheeted on him with a younger guy which proved to him she wasn�t a very mature person at all. That�s so not what I would do. It would be very stupid of me to turn to such a stupid option in a relationship. If I were to break up with him though, I wouldn�t want to be ignored by him or treated any differently but it won�t be like that because she cheeted on him and I would never do that. I have so many fears. Just to let you know personally, we�re not that close physically. Another characteristic of him is indepentence.
And also, he hasn�t talked to me about how different it would be, or what it would be like when I move to southern Ontario. Gee, he doesn�t even have internet yet. So staying in touch will be quite difficult. Also cause I don�t like long distance calling, that�s just not good and I can�t exactly figure out �why.�
I will have to take this day by day I guess, but there�s nothing I don�t like in this relationship accept the uncertainty. I just don�t know what to say anymore.
And yayy, I didn�t expect this entry to be this long.
So good night, and until next time -
Jenna
Miss these?
Letting It Go - Sunday, Mar. 09, 2008
Moment of Disbelief - Thursday, Mar. 06, 2008
What the... - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
No More Cavities - Friday, Feb. 29, 2008
Ridiculousness - Tuesday, Feb. 19, 2008