I think I lost a friend, or was she even a friend at all?
Sunday, Nov. 17, 2002 @ 00:48
I always tried to stay away from the stupid act of drama queen, but it happened to me this evening during this conversation. Well, it would be very hard to avoid that, but I could have acted way more mature than I did.
Okay, Hailey, her boyfriend Ben, and Lauretta, all suspect that I�ve been belimic lately. And truly, I have not been for a while now. They should be damned happy, but they don�t even believe me. That�s their problem right? Sure. Here�s part of the conversation I had with Hailey:
Hailey: jenna please. Trust me i want to talk to you about it only because ur a good friend of mine and jen i tryed to talk one of my other friends out of something like that and shes now never gonna have children
��Jenna: no! You just want to know cause of Lauretta, right?
Hailey: no jenna. its not like that. do u remember winter camp, when i did it out of my cencerity to help u. Jen u keep it up, your gonna luse your life. Why would u want to live if your not pretty and not able to have any children? I�ve seen this jenna my best friend can't and will never have children, she almost died because of her internal organs turned in to mush.
��Jenna: Nasty I don�t need children. I don't need help cause I'm not doing anything hello. you and Lauretta obviously talk, and she suspects the samething that bitch!
Hailey: so your calling me a bitch too??
��Jenna: Why shouldn't I?
Hailey: you know wut jenna get sick don't exspect me to care, Die jenna and don't think once that i'm gonna come to your funeral! I don't even know why i tryed to care about u! I don't know even why ben wants to help you i also did this for him. Oh and SORRY FOR CARING
��Jenna: oh, Ben would love to hear this
Hailey: tell ben go a head and tell ben ever thing i said.
��Jenna: Oh mwahahahahahaha, no, I don�t have the time to waiste my breath on you both. I�m not that crazy. Oh, and Lauretta too.
So that last line is the truth. I might have to see Ben tomorrow, and I just won�t say a word to him, even if he and Hailey try and talk to me, but I don�t know if they talked about me already. Or should I say gossiped?
Why don�t they believe me. I have not had the compultion to throw up food at all lately. Neither the time too. This is really bugging me, I did think we were very good friends, but she had to blame me for something far worse... Maybe Lauretta convinced her to do this. That�s what I was thinking during our conversation. I hate to jump to conclusions, but that seems all too true.
Hailey did say that I was a good friend of her�s and this is why she want�s to help me. I just tried to convince her I wasn�t doing anything harmful like that to myself. Plus, I really care for Ben, but it seems that if Hailey and I aren�t getting along, he�ll... I don�t know, maybe I do need to talk to him though. But Hailey would pull him easily to her side no matter what. And she�ll make him believe everything she is saying, is totally right and the pure truth, and that I am telling only lies. Oh, and do that to Lauretta. But I was so sure it was Lauretta who did that to her first.
I should tell my boyfriend all about this. But why should I make him feel sorry for me? I don�t need pity. He�ll have a very logical point of view about this though, and, do everything he can to help me. What a sweetie. So I might as well tell him everything. Give him a dose of this conversation. This will get us closer. When will be the best time to tell him?
Hmmmmmm, I wonder what Ben would think about what Hailey said to me about her nog going to my funeral and that I should get sick and die or something like that. All because I sort have called her a bitch. It�s amazing how that one word made her so damned mad at me. She�s so fucking sensitive, probably never cared in the first place anyway, she has too many problems. But Ben may just stick to his girlfriend�s non-true story. I really hope I haven�t lost Ben as a friend, but I think it�s too late. All because of Hailey. What a bitch...... ... *almost cries*
Oh and I wonder, What will be the wild rumour going around the school be like now? from Hailey.
Hmmm, this is really driving me insane. Just some more un-needed and unnecessary stress for me. My pulse rate is up so damned high now. Thanks so much for this, Hailey.
*hugs her cat* I hope I have a very good sleep tonight.
Jenna
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