This Is the Diary of A Girl

I�m so in decided. What shall I do?

Sunday, Nov. 10, 2002 @ 19:10

Ohm how athletic I am to be eating a chocolate muffin with peach juice for breakfast, then to have chips and dip and a chocolate bar, nuts, and Pepsi. I must be headed for a big work out tonight, but no� I have a whole large pile of homework to work through. This isn�t good, I�m not eating healthy at all!
This week is fitness testing in phys-ed and I probably won�t even be able to run fifteen minutes now. I shouldn�t even have Pepsi in my system in the first place, and I almost did a good job of resisting it all this weekend until now. I have no idea which day we are running, hopefully it�s not Tuesday. I feel like taking steroids but that�s not being true to my own abilities. I finally get to see what my body fat is again, and hopefully also it�s lower than 17.8 percent (what I had last time.) Also, our weight is checked and I probably gained like five pounds from 107 pounds. Blah, this is so stupid. When will I ever be completely satisfied?

My other option is to avoid going to school completely this week, and then I�ll have to stay at home with a mother who is sick and won�t leave the other computer because of her huge contract. I will also have a great amount of extra homework, so forget it, I would be so bored, and maybe I just need a little bit of encouragement for the testing. I hope I do better then all of them in my group. It will be harder against the boys though. Ugh, there�s two boys and three or four other girls. I shall do my best whatever day that is.

For running then, I will carry a bottle of water with me, I find the air gets really stale and that gross and hard to breathe, and I shall do sit-ups from now to the mystery day, and whatever else I have to do to keep my body fat below 17.8 percent.

My nerves must be up or something, I�m tired, jumpy, bored, paranoid (but I don�t know at what,) and a mixture of a whole lot of other feelings. This is terrible. It's totally not me. I'm not even in the mood to complete my homework. Maybe I�ll take a walk in the dark soon since it stopped raining and look for my other, older cat. Or go on a walk with my cousin, if he won�t talk about his girlfriend every couple of seconds. And if he'll ever stop playing batt gamen with my mother and let her go back to work...
Well, if I can't do any walking, will a cup of herbal tea to me any good?

See ya -
Jenna

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