Oh yeah. Hell yeah!
Monday, Sept. 05, 2005 @ 01:10
So now I have the chance to pay attention to the news more often, why is everyone going crazy over this hurricane? People! There�s no pity here. It�s your fault you live in a city that is below sea level. You�re just asking to be flooded in the first place. Deal with it!
Well, enough of that. There�s something I�ve neglected to say for a while. I am finally moving out on my own with my kitty. I found a place for only $500 a month. I am both delighted and nervous at the same time. I will be leaving on Monday and I have no idea when I�ll be getting internet set up.
My whole life is being turned around and it�s so fucking hard. So hard to keep things together. I will definitely be fine financially. I just don�t know. I am not confident. I feel so alone and I will be.
It made me feel better to let out a huge scream. I lost my voice for a good hour, but my throat still bothers me. I have not cried though. I need to but I just can�t. I don�t feel real anymore. I can�t give up though. I won�t fail the vibrant, happy little girl I�m supposed to play. I will be strong and make sure I can do the best I can. It won�t be easy and it is not impossible. Can I actually convince myself that?
It will all be okay when I can finally get things balanced, then the stress will stop pecking at me, then maybe I will stop worrying about the silliest things. It�s just everything seems so difficult right now. I just want to escape...
On Friday night I went to Montreal. I did my research and found a gothic club called Saphir. It was my first damn party ever! How awesome!
When we first got to Montreal, we stopped for a little bite at a Lebanese place, then headed to the rave. I had two shots of tequila, a drink called Sex on the beach, 4 Heineken beers, and a pop of E led to the best time of my life. I wasn�t brave enough to try a drink called pussy juice. The place was all gray because of all the smoking going on. I would never smoke, it made me cough too much. They played good shit like Metallica, Ministry, and Manson. This cute Goth guy sat down beside me for a bit but once my cousin got back, he ran away. He must have thought my cousin was a boyfriend or something. Yuck.
I don�t remember much of what happened though. I remember getting kicked out because, like a lot of other people, I went wild. I was dancing like mad.
My cousin was telling me afterwards that we ended up in a total strangers house, and I tried getting into a parked car, screaming �Look left,� �Look to your right!� and that someone was coming after us with a knife. It all felt like a dream. I also discovered my black lipstick was all cracked up. Oh well, I couldn�t have had any more fun. I would do it all over again, although I slept for like days when I got back home.
I hope to go back there with some good friends like around new years or something. I fell in love with that place.
Jenna
*Song: Scars of life � Bullet with Your Name. This song makes me go crazy. It was played at the club.
Miss these?
Letting It Go - Sunday, Mar. 09, 2008
Moment of Disbelief - Thursday, Mar. 06, 2008
What the... - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
No More Cavities - Friday, Feb. 29, 2008
Ridiculousness - Tuesday, Feb. 19, 2008