This Is the Diary of A Girl

Declining, Life

Thursday, Jul. 08, 2004 @ 18:30

Okay, I�ll try to write this with a huge mosquito flying around the room. I shouldn�t have left the window open. Each time it comes around me, I don�t breathe. I heard somewhere that they are good at searching for sugar molecules and carbon dioxide, which we breathe out. �Please, don�t bite me. Just fly right back out that window.�

It seems like in every entry I have something to complain about. I get like twenty e-mails per day from Online Casino, �GET $250 FREE BONUS!!!!� Not interested. I�m afraid if I try to unsubscribe to them, I will get more unwanted shit. I didn�t even sign up with them in the first place, and this antis Pam service I signed up to won�t let me include my email address. I�ve thought about abandoning it all together. I�ve had that e-mail too long anyway.

My online life is declining. E-mail and diary land are what I remain attached to. I haven�t downloaded anything for a while or listen to online radio. This means I have a life. At least I think I do. And I wasn�t trying to be funny.

On a more serious note, a friend of the family recently passed away from kidney failure. She had a tendency to over drink alcohol. She was so tiny. Every time she wasn�t drinking she was shaking, quivering like a leaf. It�s sad to see that happen to someone. When I went to visit her she was always so happy to see me. I remember a few intellectual discussions with her, mainly about world issues. My mother worked with her on a few government projects and documents. She had a big, kind heart. There�s so much that I could say. It was very shocking for everyone to find out the news.

I can�t believe it. She�s gone. I won�t be able to speak with her again. The sadness and the pane made me cut again. I had to deal with it somehow. Just little cuts across my arm enough for blood. I yelled, �bleed� and I hope no one heard me. At the time I think they were sleeping. I�ll try to stop that, for the sake of looking nice at the cottage in a bathing suit.

We might be heading to the cottage soon, so I should get ready. By the way, �Bye-bye stupid mosquito.�

Jenna

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