My boyfriend and swim team
Wednesday, Dec. 04, 2002 @ 18:37
Oh my gosh!
My boyfriend has completely changed. How so unusual he is now, too different. I don�t know exactly how to explain it but, ... he hates me around other guys so often now, and, he doesn�t really pay attention to me and he says that it�s me who doesn�t. And that I use him where did that ever come from if I seem to not pay that much attention to him. I want to get out of this relationship. The way I always do. I shan�t say cause I think he reads my diary.
Okay, we talked this through, but I still don�t know where that �used him� part came from. I don�t want to wonder, I shouldn�t wonder, how stupid and paranoying.
I hope your reading this.
Read it!
I don�t want to try any longer for this relationship cause there�s a tension I hate. I can�t talk to him now without another person there. No, no, it�s over. I don�t care what way he takes it. Love it or hate it. I just simply don�t care.
I should be happy now, exams over, Christmas, and Christmas parties, presents, gift exchanges, all the good stuff I could go on forever. I want it all without him, just my family and close friends, people who belong, people who care, people who make it easy, and people I am comfortable with.
There�s no way this relationship could continue *hugs her cat* with his lies and false truth. He has too many issues.
Now I know. He only wanted to be my boyfriend because ... duh! No, not because I look good (to him) as I mentioned before, he started to hate guys around me. That�s terrible, how did I ever call him a sweetie? Why did he change? Why does he feel used? I only stayed me, I didn�t change. I will always be just me! Everyone else changes accept me, my grades change, my boyfriend changes, my friends change, years change and so dows my age, my mother and friends change, what do I do?
I never know
That was a complete lie. I can admit. I do change always, more often that I�d like too. I changed to someone different while still being me:
Since there�s never any soccer after school and my mother doesn�t get home until about 18:00, I got into watching (get ready) Star Treck. �Bourg!� Hahaha, I think I�m one, I�ll never get to know me, so why should I know others, especially my ... boyfriend...
I did something to make him see me less. I joined swim team. Yeah! After three years, I joined again. I told my mother but she wasn�t �surprised. You were a water person ever since your were a kid. I�m glad your back on the team.� Then that�s it. I didn�t only join because I wanted to see my boyfriend a lot less, my other friend (who he�s jellous of) convinced me to join since I convinced him to do bars in gymnastics. I also need the exercise. The only bad thing is, I have to wake up early Wednesday and Friday mornings to go to practise, at 5:30. Then I have it Thursday after school since everyone has to practise more than three times a week. Yayy, I didn�t have to go this morning because there was a swim meet in Guelf that I didn�t go to because I just joined but I will be able to go to Windser. I really enjoy swim team, I just love the feeling of being noticed. In the end of the year for swim team, they announce in an assembly how well you�ve done and your achievements and the awards and metals...
Oh, that�s not all. I�ll be able to go on international swim meets. Yepp, international. Last year they got to go to Germany. Ja, Deutschland! Only to Berlin though, hahaha.
They hated it though cause it was during the world cup, and everyone there went crazy after a German game. I could only imagine the traffic, and the loudness as usual there...
Woah Germany, has also changed a lot. I haven�t been there at all this year surprisingly cause I went to Vancouver, Victoria BC, and Winnipeg. Maybe next year, in a way I hope not though. I want to see my friends, and Augsburg after one year, imagine nothing changed? .. Okay, enough about Germany, I made this too long already.
I could go on alone without my boyfriend. My quote: �There�s so much to look forward too� At the moment I�m not exactly sure what.
Well, I should get going to surf on Uboot.com
Jenna
*PS: I don�t know why but, Site Meter (web counter) causes an error. I can�t access it, why? I use internet Explorer 6.0 and I can�t access that website. GRRRRRRRR! I�m mad.
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