Keep Living On
Tuesday, Mar. 22, 2004 @ 21:22
Have you ever felt like there is just so much going on that you don't know where to start, so then you just don't?
I've always found that in order to keep my friends I've got to be very happy, lively, and bubbly. Otherwise you fade into the background and get classified as the boring type, when you're really just an introverted person.
So, do you sacrifice your social life so you get a chance to be yourself? The answer to that question is obvious, of course you do. But it's different when you're actually living it.
I just want to live life the way I should. I try. I love being upbeat, but now I'm lively all the time. So much that I don't think about it anymore. I'm scared that I'm losing the ability to think. Really think. I simply don't have the time to do that now. Somehow all that gets caught in between social times, swimming, and working. I find myself jumping to conclusions that I normally wouldn�t if I were to sit back and ponder.
I also have a problem that I don't want to write about. I should feel more secure under this password but... Sometimes I do/say things that I just do so because it feels natural to me. And then sometime later someone's going to throw it right back in my face. It doesn�t feel good. Not at all. I�ve thought about quitting this, just writing on my laptop. Well actually that won�t be very good considering I won�t have my laptop for a whole week next week. My friend Mike is borrowing it again. So I will get to keep his black NIKE hat.
He is going to Jamaica! He found out that there is an Internet connection in the hotel but he doesn�t have a laptop of his own. He hasn�t been online for 1,1/2 years cause his parents grounded him from his computer. Oddly, they will let him use mine. I talked to them to make sure.
But before I get to carried away, I need to add this so that I can get some work done.
Jenna
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