Evocative
Friday, Oct. 10, 2003 @ 21:55
Extremely overwhelmed. But I have to say, �I love my friends.� They found out about my razor blades and got me help. That sounds so funny to me that I needed help. It�s not like my problems are magically going to disappear though. But it�s a step, right?
The counselor was surprised to know that I was cutting in periods over 3 years. That made me feel insecure about her, that I know I am her worst case so far. Then I can�t tell her other ways I tried to kill myself. She told me stupid things like �you should talk to people more and not inflict pain, and cause problems on yourself.� I�ll say this now, I can�t trust others. To survive the hell I am in now, I need to keep to myself. The counselor would be to over-reactive if I tell her much more. I give up. She can�t deal with severely depressed patients, and I can�t trust her, I won�t talk to her. I don�t need help, I never needed help. People can�t deal with depressed people, and mothers just make you feel worse.
But anyways thanks friends. Thanks for giving me unusable garbage. Just as usual guys, nothing will ever change. I�ve helped you with your homework, web-design, and complements to K. for an ugly head full of braided hair. And in return I only get a useless counselor who won�t understand me. I knew that would happen, right from the start.
Although, it�s nice to hear from you Jay and Tom. You guys actually waste time reading this crap. Well, I don�t know what else to say.
Back to my razor blades.
I�m not going to say I am going to �kill� myself, because I can just torture myself a little longer. I have to suffer through a grade 10 literacy test next week or the one after, a swim meet, but best of all... An Evanescence concert! In Montreal! My mother won�t let me go if she sees fresh scratches. So thanks again to my dear friends, I can�t cut cause you know how badly I want to go to this concert. No cutting until next year.
Jenna
Miss these?
Letting It Go - Sunday, Mar. 09, 2008
Moment of Disbelief - Thursday, Mar. 06, 2008
What the... - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
No More Cavities - Friday, Feb. 29, 2008
Ridiculousness - Tuesday, Feb. 19, 2008