Finding a way to the changing me
Sunday, Jan. 12, 2003 @ 12:16
I successfully stayed up all night and until now. I haven�t done this for such a long time. With the help of very difficult homework, continuously crashing computer, and lots of espresso, I stayed up!
I got *almost all of my homework done. Five out of seven complete, I think that�s good. One isn�t due till Thursday and the other until sometime next week! So it looks like I will have a little more time to myself again.
And I finally got a chance to look through every single wishy-washy e-mails. Boy it feels good emptying out the inbox!
Now I�m just sitting here with the sunlight in my eyes and it�s hot rays in my hair. I hate it! I know humans live and need the sun for living, I just hate that burning feeling on my skin, and the way it warms up. I�ll never get used to it...
Amazingly, it�s still very cold outside.
Mum�s friend came over again and they played the usual board game. Then they went out and as usual, I stayed here in front of the computer. Not much has changed, heh heh.
My mum bought me flavored water for the first time; it�s very good. Anyway, she also �out of the blue� bought me what all my friends have: two way radio things.
Well, mine just happens to be the most expensive ($360) and most inconvenient one. The creators spent too much time making it look so good and compact that mum happened to buy it. What�s so inconvenient? Unlike all my friends who can change frequencies quickly with one button, I have to actually turn off, then turn on the radio, hold a button down for five seconds, and scroll with a button that only moves the channels upwards. Tell me �that�s not worth the money!� If that�s not bad enough, it makes people sound awful, like they saw a dozen chickens with their heads cut off. Lucky we still have the receipt.
I�m glad I don�t eat chicken... No meet, not even fish! I�ve been that way for over a year now and I feel like I have enough control to take another deep step. I�ve gone this far, so I can go even farther! Just to simply watch the proportions of food throughout the day, I don�t feel like writing the whole thing out in my diary. I know exactly what to do! Here comes a new lifestyle change for me...
I shall become the best me... I feel really good about the essay answers for English, hopefully I get top marks for it. I have to do better than everyone. Blah, I hate writing about homework. It makes me look really stupid...
I just feel like writing. Writing a lot... But not writing to people online who pretend to be someone they�re not.
I only want one thing: to talk to my �secret crush� that BITCH does. I will find a way, some way. Oh and, I hate being so envious of that. I hope I don�t see her at all this week... That�s my cure.
Now that I don�t have a boyfriend, everything feels unexpected and different. I should have wrote that in the previous entry, but something strange is going to happen. Hmmmmm...
I dunno what to expect, or is it just my unsleepingness getting to me? Am I worrying too much? I need more espresso!
Jenna.
Miss these?
Letting It Go - Sunday, Mar. 09, 2008
Moment of Disbelief - Thursday, Mar. 06, 2008
What the... - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
No More Cavities - Friday, Feb. 29, 2008
Ridiculousness - Tuesday, Feb. 19, 2008