I Hope I am Still Me
Monday, Dec. 15, 2003 @ 16:23
For the last week, I�ve been wondering who I am becoming. I mean, none of my work is hardly getting done. I�m not neglecting it, but leaving it to the last minute, procrastinating? Didn�t think that was me. Accept one thing, I gave a �take home� exam in two days late, and came up with this excuse that I had exams that day. I did, only math, but I still could have had it done if I wasn�t with that �crew.� I couldn�t help it. I know that some of you read this now and you know I love you guys and for some reason, I couldn�t let that exam take over that day. You know how much fun I had? Too much...
The funny thing is, we always hang out everyday by these stares, and we tried coming up with a crew name, but �the stare hoggers� didn�t seem to stick, so we still don�t have a name. We all have nicknames for each other, I guess I turned out to be JJ and my Kyle is LK, for �little Kyle.�
My little Kyle. He told me that some �big family event� took place last Sunday. This worries me cause he also said that it wasn�t as bad as a death but very bad. I was thinking perhaps they found out a family member had cancer, just like my other friend Shane who was upset about that. I hope I am wrong. I can�t deal with other people�s stresses and weak emotions very well. It just makes me uncomfortable.
That news about a 13 year old that lives in Toronto, originally from the Soviet Republic, made me cry. This kid lost his mother due to his fathers beating and she died and he�s in prison, and now he has no one left. And no one back home either. I couldn�t imagine losing my whole family, especially if I moved to a place where hardly anyone speaks my language. He must be so devastated. I read though that people in Toronto are being very generous, one person even had a left over casket for his mother. Another family in Toronto is thinking about adopting him. That makes me wonder though, will they allow him to stay with a family who doesn�t even speak the same language as him.
Well a lot of things are making me wonder these days. I am so bored out of my mind and my thoughts are getting to me. Oh, that�s dangerous.
I could be swimming right now, but I have a pulled muscle in my arm and it�s to painful to swim. Surprisingly my coach isn�t that mad. He just wants me to take it easy so it doesn�t get more stressed. I have to keep stretching my arm and putting damn cold ice on it.
Maybe I will try to swim tomorrow, and maybe finish off my homework tonight. I should try to keep busy.
Jenna
Song: Evanescence � �my immortal�
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