The First Day of School
Friday, Sept. 05, 2003 @ 18:36
Actually, the first week practically, since I was too lazy to write for a while. Already I can feel the stress like needles on your chest. I wonder what stress would look like if it could be drawn, that I could rip up.
Or, a physical object, that I can throw!
All that has to do with my odd behavior. I answered the door and nobody was there, and! I answered the phone and there was just a dialing tone. I can�t explain it, although I had no good real sleep with just coffee to keep me awake. Hmm, I can�t sleep but I need coffee to keep me conscious?
Next week I start swimming. There are now five of us training for Athens, including the other two I went to Edmonton with. Hah! I�m not the only girl anymore. She has to improve by eleven seconds, one guy by only three seconds, and the other two by five seconds, and me still seven seconds.
We also have an �athlete�s contract� here is a bit of it:
I _______________ (student athlete) understand that participating on the Swim Team is a privilege and that I will conduct myself in a proper manner at all times while a member of the team. I will be respectful to the coaching staff, officials, volunteers, teammates, property, and other swimming participants at all times. I understand that violating any of these principles will result in my immediate dismissal from the team.
I will commit myself from this day forward to an inner pledge to attend 100% of the required practices, including on my most hectic days. I will meet the attendance goals for my training group. I will hide my worries under a pleasant smile.
I will reach new levels of mental control when my body talks louder than my mind.
I will patiently do my work knowing that I will be respected and rewarded. I will treat every member of the team, no matter how humble, as a person of importance. I realize that any negative comments, including jokes, may hurt someone where I least expect it. I further understand that I am a vital person to this team, not only in my athletic ability, but also in my moral support.
On completion of this contract, I will realize that this is the first step in being a winner not only as an athlete but also as a person. I fully understand and fully agree to the goals and standards stated in this contract...
*I must have been drunk when I signed it....
This year I have no spares, again!
1st: academic English,
2nd: academic science,
3rd: academic history,
4th: academic math,
Then French. Blah blah, the rest are all open courses. Like you needed to know that...
Yay! So I was voted class president, heh heh... �Let�s give Jenna all the work, since we don�t care how stressed out she gets cause we�re just too lazy! And already have too much homework...� It doesn�t pay to be silent. Yeah... They all commented on how much �weight� I lost during the summer holidays. Just like the beginning of last year, exactly! That was a pretty bad year. So far my cuts on my arms weren't noticed.
Maybe this could explain it.
Isn�t it odd how you imagine things that actually turn out to be totally different in reality? Example, you think someone likes you, but then you push away all your blinding emotions and realize how much they don�t care. They just don�t want to see you and never want to talk to you again. They write all these letters to their friends, who also don�t care. How it hurt you so much, so you go and do the same thing to someone else. And the chain of hate grows, an emotional human virus. In the end, tares the world apart. Something so small can grow into a huge disaster, including death.
Jenna
Miss these?
Letting It Go - Sunday, Mar. 09, 2008
Moment of Disbelief - Thursday, Mar. 06, 2008
What the... - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
No More Cavities - Friday, Feb. 29, 2008
Ridiculousness - Tuesday, Feb. 19, 2008