Is it worth trying anymore?
Thursday, Mar. 13, 2003 @ 04:01
I get so indulged in reading about other people�s lives online, so I forget to update on mine.
No really. I wasn�t able to write very well on the keyboard, cause it�s old and collected too much cat hair, dust etc. So mum gave me her other keyboard for the day while she cleans the other one.
Soon I will be able to update everyday because my mother has decided to buy me a laptop! :D Yeah, after she bought me a beautiful black, cell phone. I totally love the text-messaging feature. Gees! I�m getting everything!
She even took me to Montreal for one whole day shopping! We ate lots of food. You know, the excellent, imported, delicious food. Good for me that vegetarian food is more common there than here in Ottawa, lol. I also got four black outfits, a black bathing suit, and another hair extensions, yay! We even got a cat that looks just like my black and white cat Yum-yum, but this one is fake. It looks so real though, the cats even got tricked at first. Oh, I absolutely love cats...
I really love it in Montreal too, a beautiful city and all, and the people are very sociable as I found out.
This spring break has gone by way to quickly for me. Luckily for the most part it was good. I already seen two movies: �Bad company� starring my absolute favourite actor Anthany Hopkins,
and �Irus� so boring I kept drinking epresso throughout the whole thing. �The life of David Gale� looks pretty interesting too, hmmmmm. Yay! And dream catcher is coming out soon.
The only bad thing was going to the dentist on Tuesday, so that my teeth can be in pane again. They did x-rays and said they can already see two wisdom teeth, but they said there�s another type of x-ray to see how well my wisdom teeth will turn out, and they can only do that type of x-ray twice in a lifetime. That makes me wonder, is it painful? Hah, I haven�t known x-rays to be painful. It�s just my nerves I guess. So maybe only twice for another reason. But I don�t want to have to go another time, blah blah blah.
I just had a conversation with my boyfriend about my cell phone, and guess what? I realized He didn�t even ask for the number. Eek. He�s practically online all the time and now he�s even started to ignore my messages. And the fact that he signs on with names like: �Sick of you� ... (including other colourful words) Bothers the hell out of me, and he won�t even tell me why he is so mad, that really gets on my nerves, Why wouldn�t it? What the hell is wrong with him?
And every time I�m with my little group of friends, he starts going to other girls, tapping them on the shoulder and asking them about their problems and such. The only reason why it�s bothering me is because the girls come up to me afterwards and complain to me about it and wonder if I�m still with him.
Ever since I was dating him, my best friend Kylie and other girls he�s flirting with have been avoiding me. Gees, they don�t even call or want to go out shopping together anymore. And I wasn�t suspicious at first because they gave me little excuses like babysitting, errands for mum, etc.
I never in my life known this guy to be so arrogant, but at the same time, I am not surprised. After all, he totally hates what I�m doing to myself and probably told all my friends about my anorexia so that I wouldn�t be so close with my friends. That�s so ruthless...
Then if he talks to his mail friends about our relationship, he�ll deny all the bad things he said, he�ll just blame them instead, �No, it�s so and so who said that, only just to try and break us up...�
I really won�t believe this crap anymore. There are more people who are important in my life than just my boyfriend. And he should realize that. Is this relationship worth it anymore?
On the other hand, if I were to break it off with my boyfriend, will my friends actually want to spend more time with me? No. I know a few girls who would just chase right after him, or maybe the other way around.
Oh, I seriously don�t deserve all this pressure, especially if I could be in the hospital and lose the most important part of my swimming career. BTW, my mother made me practise swimming at Carleton University. It was a little different, the practise was easier than usual for me. Only for two hours three times this week, not the usual four hours three times a week, Only because of Canadian National championships, but the usual practise will be coming up soon. Wouldn�t you think half a usual practise is easy? I know in Germany swim practice and extend up to 12 hours per day, even I�m not sure I can handle that...
Well, for my sake, I won�t be going online for all day tomorrow, just on paltalk which I know my boyfriend doesn�t have yet. Then I�ll see if he talks to me the day after.
Now I�m getting really suspicious cause I sent Kylie an e-mail, she came online, then left without replying. Oh my goth! That�s really not like her.
On another note though:
I got my report card on Friday, �79.3 student average.�
Hmmmmmmmm... Is it ever worth trying anymore. I mean, I really thought I did much better than that. But no. Grades will never be satisfying enough.
It�s sad that teachers don�t see potential in students. Maybe some do...
There were some �not so true� comments on the report. And now my mother is really mad at me, of course it�s their word over the students. Why bother trying to convince her otherwise. And I won�t even bother to write down their nasty comments in here.
I�ve also got my courses set for next year, and I am taking French again.
BTW, I know witch courses will get me a higher average, that�s why I chose French again, cause I know I wouldn�t do well in drama and others that unfortunately don�t involve a lot of work.
Well this entry is getting long already.
Hopefully my mother will let me keep this keyboard longer, heh.
Jenna
P.S.: I also got another damn annoying cold. It was quite predictable since I get them about two or three times a year. They take up too much energy, don�t they?
Everywhere on the news they�re talking about the west Nile virus again. �It�s so much worse in North America than where it originated in Africa.� Lucky I don�t have anything to worry about.
Miss these?
Letting It Go - Sunday, Mar. 09, 2008
Moment of Disbelief - Thursday, Mar. 06, 2008
What the... - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
No More Cavities - Friday, Feb. 29, 2008
Ridiculousness - Tuesday, Feb. 19, 2008