First promise broken in my diary
Saturday, Mar. 15, 2003 @ 18:13
Unfortunately I wasn�t able to keep my last promise: I just had to go online again. I had to talk to him; I just couldn�t take the pressure anymore.
Basically, I heard a really strange rumor that my boyfriend was going to break up with me for someone else. Apparently it wasn�t true and he blamed me for believing everything that was said about him. I know that sounds complicated, but that�s not the worst of it.
He acts like the whole world is against him, that they want us to break up, everyone talks behind his back, (and more crap like that). Yeah, for sure I know that someone wants us to break up so they can have him, and he doesn�t even notice it, he denies it completely: �oh, it�s everyone else but her.� Argh, whatever.
So it has been four times people have tried to break us up, and I don�t even think it was purposely:
1. Thomas told me that my boyfriend were flirting with this other couple and spending more time with them. Of course he has friends you know.
2. Thomas told me that my boyfriend would treat mike Allison (my boyfriend�s ex girl friend) if we ever broke up. But he treats her with pure respect most of the time, FYI: they broke up because Allison cheated on him. And Thomas also said that my boyfriend was holding Allison on the couch, but I don�t really know what happened with that.
3. Apparently Kylie got the impression that my boyfriend wanted to go back wit Allison, and it would be over for us.
4. Sarah ( a girl I don�t know) said that her and my boyfriend were together. My boyfriend doesn�t believe that cause he thinks that Kylie made that up, but Sarah told many people that.
There was this one conversation when I thought it would be over for us. He believes that someone will say something that will hurt our relationship and he�ll have to end it. �It�s getting to hard to take. You keep asking me if I did this and this with someone. It�s like you don�t trust me anymore.� Honestly, I only told him what others were saying about him, not what I believed, there�s deffinitly a difference.
�Still no matter what we do they are going to find some way to make either of us believe them.� Well, it doesn�t even have to be this way if there was more trust involved.
�But I know that they are going to say something and you are going to believe them and eventually we are going to brake up.� So yeah, he has to put the whole blame on me!
�You have been believing them all this time, that proof to you that you aren't going to believe them again?� I was oly trying to see both sides of things, but I get blamed cause there�s to much hate involved.
I finally got a chance to talk with Kylie and my boyfriend freeked out! �She�s going to tell you some more shit, and you are going to snap at me cuz of something that she said.� There you go, that��s how much respect he has. That�s how much he cares about our relationship.
Of course Kylie had nothing bad to say about us. Goth! She doesn�t even want us to break up.
I think it�s Thomas we have to worry about. As much as I don�t want to think that, I can really see why my boyfriend can�t trust him with me. The bad thing is, Thomas is going to all the same competitive swimming events as me. I even told my boyfriend that I wouldn�t go to them because of Thomas and he replied �Yes you are going to go, but who know's if we are going to last that long because of all these damn rumors. Cause let me tell you right now, they won�t stop until we do, you know just as well as I do that I am hated and I am not going to be able to take much more of that.�
I dunno what to do anymore, I really don�t. It�s like he wants to end it only because of them, and that��s exactly what they want. I won�t let others control our relationship.
I still very much want to be with him, but my mind is screeming �nooooooooooooooooo!!!�
Miss these?
Letting It Go - Sunday, Mar. 09, 2008
Moment of Disbelief - Thursday, Mar. 06, 2008
What the... - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
No More Cavities - Friday, Feb. 29, 2008
Ridiculousness - Tuesday, Feb. 19, 2008